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| 1 | <!-- | ||
| 2 | .. title: F.D.P. | ||
| 3 | .. date: 2002/06/01 | ||
| 4 | .. tags: poetry | ||
| 5 | --> | ||
| 6 | |||
| 7 | Dear http://www.bonsaikitten.com/ staff,:: | ||
| 8 | |||
| 9 | I am speaking for a larger german party called | ||
| 10 | F.D.P. ( the Free Liberal Party: | ||
| 11 | http://www.fdp.de/ ) As you might know, on | ||
| 12 | September, 22nd the next election for the | ||
| 13 | German Bundestag will take place and we | ||
| 14 | currently are preparing our election campaign. | ||
| 15 | As providing giveaways for interested voters | ||
| 16 | always is a good idea, we consider ordering a | ||
| 17 | larger quantity of kittens. | ||
| 18 | |||
| 19 | Now there are some questions left about this | ||
| 20 | strategy: | ||
| 21 | * Is it possible to form a single kitten into | ||
| 22 | our F.D.P. shape, or will we have to order | ||
| 23 | a set of 3 kittens each for a single letter? | ||
| 24 | * Is it possible to colorize the kittens in | ||
| 25 | our party logo colors blue and yellow? Maybe | ||
| 26 | the space between each letters and its dots | ||
| 27 | in blue and the remaining space yellow? | ||
| 28 | * if we order, say 100.000 kittens, will you | ||
| 29 | offer a discount? | ||
| 30 | * is it possible to order these kittens on a | ||
| 31 | commission base? That's because if we don't | ||
| 32 | get enough votes in the election, we may not | ||
| 33 | be able to pay all the kittens. Maybe you | ||
| 34 | shape/form 50.000 pieces "just a bit" so | ||
| 35 | you can reinflate them when we send them | ||
| 36 | back? | ||
| 37 | * As we currently have some problems | ||
| 38 | concerning accuses of antisemitism we want | ||
| 39 | to be sure not to let jewish cats be put into | ||
| 40 | glasses, as this might result in bad press | ||
| 41 | of the kind "F.D.P. imprisons jewish kittens". | ||
| 42 | Could you please verify that each of these | ||
| 43 | kittens is not pruned? | ||
| 44 | * Of course it would be necessary to have those | ||
| 45 | pets as soon as possible, how long would | ||
| 46 | it take until the shaping is perfect? May we | ||
| 47 | suggest giving HGH to accelerate the growth? | ||
| 48 | |||
| 49 | If you can fulfil our needs we even may think | ||
| 50 | about ordering a special "parachute edition" | ||
| 51 | which could be dropped at campaign events. | ||
| 52 | |||
| 53 | And: if your support leads us to government, we | ||
| 54 | will pass a law, forcing every school to have | ||
| 55 | at least one kitten for biology classes. | ||
| 56 | |||
| 57 | Yours sincerely | ||
| 58 | |||
| 59 | Martin Matz | ||
| 60 | chairmember of F.D.P. | ||